I'm Super Nervous but hi!

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introduction

Hello and thank you so much for reading this post! (I apologize in advance if this is not the place for me to discuss these things.)

You can call me Tsuki. I'm 29-years-old and in a very confusing place spiritually/psychically/magically.

I'm afraid to sound full of myself trying to discuss the things I'm experiencing, but I really don't know where to turn for guidance or clarity. I believe that other people have abilities, but I fear my thoughts on my own abilities and powers may all be wishful thinking. I try to open up, being willing to hear messages of guidance while attempting to meditate or pray, but then I fear I'm letting bad energies or beings in without the proper protection, so I cut things off abruptly and visualize an impentetrable barrier to protect myself. However, by doing this I'm afraid I'm insulting messengers/or beings trying to communicate with me. I acted open to receiving, but cut things off before I'm able to receive anything.

The powers I'm most curious about are the powers I have in dreaming and in dreams. I'm curious, but somewhat reluctant to discuss this, but only because I have a fear I will be punished if I talk about it. Almost like, it'll be taken away if I talk about it, but I'm willing to take that chance in order to gain clarity and understanding. I will talk about it if someone asks me and thinks I won't be punished for discussing it. I want to embrace who I am without fear. I want to grow and know more. I know I need to do more research on my own, but I get so overwhelmed in figuring out where to begin. I don't know how to begin my journey. Any help anyone could provide would be like giving me a breath of fresh air or a life float to hold onto.

I'm extremely grateful for your kindness and heart in reading this. Writing this was difficult for me and I fear being alone without understanding, but just being able to say and ask the things I've had on my mind for so long now has been a gift. Thank you, sincerely.

Edit (actual details): I am an empath. I know the designation is overused, but I do not feel I am wrong in saying this. I became more aware of it when I was 12 though.

I have powers in my dreams that I carry through other dreams. I gain more powers as time goes on. My current powers are: flying (more like hovering), bullet/damage absorption, telekinesis and time manipulation. Telekinesis and time manipulation are very broad descriptors, but I jump through time/can stop(or slow) time/ can reverse time. A recent ability that has been on my mind is the ability to reflect damage to stop bullets or magic and send it back to the originator.

I had a very vivid dream in which a Green witch told me I was a dream witch. The term has stuck with me.

I have had insomnia since I was a toddler. Vivd nightmares plagued me during early childhood, even so I was able to identify dreams as dreams. I remember understanding this after many times where i would think to myself "I hope a dinosaur doesn't appear and try to eat me" and low and behold a dinosaur would appear and try to eat me.  From these experiences learned my thoughts influenced/altered the reality of my dreams.

I was able to wake myself up from bad dreams, but sometimes was unable to fight the pull of the dream/sleep. When I'd succumb again to sleep sometimes the beings in my dreams would ask me where I went or chide me for trying to get away. During adolescence my lucid dreaming grew stronger and more powerful until I started developing these powers.

I sometimes flaunt to the beings in my dreams that I'm in a dream and I know they can't hurt me or that none of it is real. There are some dreams that feel like alternate universes or realities, not just realities of my own making.

I want to understand where I start my journey. Which deity may be gifting me with this power and what it means. I fear this journey will undo me. I fear that by doing this I am completely letting go of my faith. But I can't help but think that exploring this gift is something I must do for myself and maybe for others too.

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Hello dream witch and welcome to the fold. If I may, I'll take the liberty of responding to your very understandable and heartfelt intro.

From your description you seem to be aware of what the indecisiveness is doing to you and are still in the process of discerning what you can do about it. That's what I'm hearing anyhow.  I'm wondering what experiences you've had that tell you "bad energies" might be let in without taking proper protection, and what this protection is and why you don't do it? … and what the source is of thinking you'd be punished for acknowledging what you've experienced as dream powers. Our experiences  comprise our authentic story of who we are. So my suggestion is to claim it. Claim and own these "powers when dreaming".

Maybe consider how connected your mundane consciousness is to your dream-self. I'm taking it that you don't have the dream powers when you're mundanely awake.

Astral plane traveling through the etheric realm can resemble what some ET abduction experiencers describe as well as what Fae-walkers through the fairy realms have reported, or the 20-&-back Secret Space Force participants, and also people with strong, inborn psychic abilities have endured.  Paranormal experiencers are often told by "handlers" (dreamt or waking) not to speak of or even remember their other worldly experiences. People deal with the darnedest things.🙄

IMO the higher self that each of us have, by virtue of being a soul encased within a container-body, has the ability to guide and protect and isn't put off by our temporary, mundane confusions & indecisiveness. So as I see it, the concept of one's higher self is worth investing in and prayer - mindful contemplation.

.

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Norwich said

Hello dream witch and welcome to the fold. If I may, I'll take the liberty of responding to your very understandable and heartfelt intro.

From your description you seem to be aware of what the indecisiveness is doing to you and are still in the process of discerning what you can do about it. That's what I'm hearing anyhow.  I'm wondering what experiences you've had that tell you "bad energies" might be let in without taking proper protection, and what this protection is and why you don't do it? … and what the source is of thinking you'd be punished for acknowledging what you've experienced as dream powers. Our experiences  comprise our authentic story of who we are. So my suggestion is to claim it. Claim and own these "powers when dreaming".

Maybe consider how connected your mundane consciousness is to your dream-self. I'm taking it that you don't have the dream powers when you're mundanely awake.

Astral plane traveling through the etheric realm can resemble what some ET abduction experiencers describe as well as what Fae-walkers through the fairy realms have reported, or the 20-&-back Secret Space Force participants, and also people with strong, inborn psychic abilities have endured.  Paranormal experiencers are often told by "handlers" (dreamt or waking) not to speak of or even remember their other worldly experiences. People deal with the darnedest things.🙄

IMO the higher self that each of us have, by virtue of being a soul encased within a container-body, has the ability to guide and protect and isn't put off by our temporary, mundane confusions & indecisiveness. So as I see it, the concept of one's higher self is worth investing in and prayer - mindful contemplation.

I am so grateful for your response and insight. I am unable to fully receive/understand it right now (time for bed). I will reply more substantially tomorrow, but I didn't want to sit on my gratitude until then. I just need you to know your response is a gift to me. Thank you.
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I've had that dinosaur-thought-form dream too & I got so steamed 😤 that I put my hands on my hips & yelled at it, "so what're ya' gonna do - eat me?" … imagine a T-Rex dino with a dumbfounded look on its face. It then shrank down to a mechanical toy & it was my turn to look dumbfounded. 😆

I love the flying out of body (OOB) "dreams" and as a kid I'd do barrel rolls on the ceiling or go outside & sit on the roof. Now a days I like Michael Jackson's moon walking OOB. 
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A very hearty welcome to you, dreamwitch. Merry Meet!

I love that username, "dreamwitch". I don't think I would have gone into any magickal work without my dreamwork. Witches often have very rich dreaming histories.

Please do give yourself a break. Don't worry so much about wishful thinking. After all, what do you do with a birthday cake? You wish something as you blow out the candles. While many people may laugh at this, a wish is a magickal act in itself and sometimes it's the best thing one can do, something linked to natural innocence.

Years ago, I met up with a professor online and we became friends for years. He was Lakota. He had grown up on "The Rez," worked to obtain a PhD, and became a Dean of Religious Studies with an emphasis in the studies of Buddhism. He told me back in 2001, "You are beautiful, smart, and also innocent." I demurred, saying, "I am not innocent." He said, "You may not see yourself as innocent because of your past. But no matter where you may have been or what you may have done, you are innocent because you never lost your capacity to dream and to wonder, even as a little child."

His words made no sense to me back then. But the memory of his words returned to me during a crisis in 2004 that changed my life forever. The very idea of innocence pertaining to innocence at our very core revolutionized my thinking and became the cornerstone of my philosophy. I began to write and study the subject for the first time. My life situation improved. I built a career. When I latter took formal classes in Philosophy, one professor said he was considering giving me a different term assignment because I had already progressed beyond the level of the class. With further refinements in the study of Ethics, I developed a moral theory of my own, based upon that concept of innocence, and brought my study of Ethics into the realm of Philosophical Psychology. After all, if dreams are tied to innocence, then the restoration of moral agency would also be tied to the reawakening of innocence and such would be reflected in dreams and our relationship with truth concerning them. That tells me that Wicca actually is tied to that which is ethically good.

When we look at the brain waves of small children (as small children are examples of innocence for us all), we find that before they're born and up to around age 2, they operate at .5 ro 4 cycles per second, placing them in the Delta range. This is the range at which adults enter deep sleep. When they reach the ages of around 2-6 years, their brain waves 4-8 cycles per second, the Theta range. This is a state full of imagination and super learning. This is the time to begin learning a second language, not 5th grade like what often happens in schools. Then between ages 5 and 8, those brain waves work at 8-13 cycles per second: the Alpha range, the range which we target in meditation through biofeedback. It's the borderline state between the analytical thinking that blossoms in the Beta range (above 13 cycles per second first encountered during teen years), but still has its roots in the world of imagination. In magickal terms, the world of imagination is the astral plane. KIds have ties to it better than any of us, even if they might not engage in conscious use of astral projection.

If we treat innocence in terms of such states instead of the issue of guilt and non-guilt that's beaten into us over the years in our blame-based society, our outlook changes.

Now in your case, I would ask whether you have brought your issues of self-doubt to a counselor or therapist? More and more counselors are sympathetic to Wiccans than what we've seen in the mid 20th Century, much of it due to the influence of Carl Jung and his study of archetypes.  I ask for this reason: I know of many magickal orders who recommend working through psychological issues that hinder their self-confidence with a professional before taking on anything heavy like temple work.

I think that's good advice. After all, some of those rites can go on for hours at a time. There's a huge amount of energy play on a number of levels. One must approach some things without fear that may well cause some people to freak out and shut down their magickal proclivities for the rest of their lives. You don't need that. If you go to a counselor, it's perfectly fine to question that person's familiarity with a given tradition or whether that counselor is sympathetic to forms of spirituality at all. After all, first meetings are always times of "feeling out" one another to see whether an objective can be mutually pursued. You can decide whether to do a subsequent meeting or not. A counselor does the same and I've been rejected by counselors at first meeting too. It's not really that big a deal except that you've maybe spent $150 to learn at the outset that that counselor isn't right to use. When it comes to your spirituality, stick to your guns. You're investing in your future health to keep from short-circuiting it.

Your strong lucidity is wonderful! When it comes to the issue of re-entering a dream you don't want to re-enter, there's a simple trick to it: change your posture. Re-entering a dream typically depends upon not moving for a second before returning awareness to a dream state.

Blessed be!

 
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dreamwitch Greetings to you, I can still remember dreams I had as a kid that are etched into my brain, I had recurring dreams about flying but in order to do it (fly) I would have to pull on my back pants pocket in order to lift myself into the air. If I did it in a stationary position I could pull myself to the ceiling or the roof, but if I took a running start I could actually “fly” as it were. I would never get any higher than the trees and it wouldn’t always last long, but I can remember it today just as I dreamed about it back then. Like you, I feel I am empathic, but I suppressed it for a long time. Until this year I never thought to explore it, but internally for me there was a need to pursue it. I will admit I do not know all the deities, for many nights in a row I dreamed of the name of Hecate, so I finally started doing research and that has led me to where I am now. I know I am not an expert, so for me this was my “leap of faith” and so far I don’t feel like I have been led astray. I hope you are able to explore your calling and feel protected. Blessed be.
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Norwich

Greetings to you! You response among the others has given me the courage and resolve to claim these powers confidentally, without question.

Now to answer your questions and please feel free to stop reading. I have a tendency to become overly detailed in the discussion of dreams sometimes and I don't wish for this to be laborious for you! I do, however, appreciate your feedback and guidance.

I have had only one interaction with a truly power negative energy/entity. I experienced its prescence. Its rage and hatred were black pools reaching out to consume. I genuinely feared what would happen if I didn't leave its den immediately. I had never experienced true terror like that outisde of my nightmares. I knew I never wanted to come across something like that again.

I strongly believe when you open yourself up to receiving messages/guidance/spirits/energies not every entity is benevolent or has good intentions. You protect your own energy/spirit and only invite in the ones you want to work with. I have no idea why I feel this way so strongly, but there is much I don't understand and I already take in so much as an empath. I know protection is necessary or I believe it is.

The protection I've been thinking about lately has been in crystals/stones/gems. I've been thinking of maybe getting amythst and black tourmaline for protection. It would be helpful not just in protecting me in this journey, but maybe they could help protect me from the energies and emotions of others as an empath as well. I'm too indecisive of what I need exactly and I'm afraid of using things that I'm not an expert in or don't fully understand because I feel like I could mess something up without knowing.

As for why I feel I shouldn't talk about my powers or why I fear I might be punished for talking about them:

1. 6 months ago I was being hunted in a dream and had been poisoned. The poison weakened me and my magic. I knew I needed to stop the poison from spreading so I materliazed a knife and cut off the skin around the poison's entry point, but I knew it wouldn't be enough. My best hope was to find pure water and attempt to flush it out in order to slow the effects. There was no water around me and my pursuers were getting closer, so I kept moving forward running as fast as I could. I tried to fly away, but realized I couldn't use magic anymore.

Eventually, I came across a wintery scene of a snow covered house among evergreen trees. It looked like an average suburban home complete with an attached garage and driveway. It seemed to be completely unoccupied, but somehow gave off the smallest sliver of energy that felt like safety. Large iclces traced along the house's roofline and I realized this might be the cleanest water I'll come across so I broke an iclce off. Immediately after I knew that by the time it took for the ice to melt that I would already succumb to the effects of the poison; leaving me paralyzed and defenseless against my quickly approaching pursuers.

I stumbled down the path from the driveway to the front door and did something I never do in dreams: I cried out for help. I went to knock on the front door, but before I could it suddenly sprang open and I was pulled inside by a beautiful woman with long vibrantly red wavy/curly hair.

Long story short: She was a Green witch. She rushed me into her kitchen in a big huff looking through drawers and shelves for different herbs (presumedly to treat the poison) all while lecturing me. She told me I was being careless in telling others about my powers or exposing them so openly (within that dream). She told me I am a dream witch and there are those who seek the life/spirit energy of witches, but that by being a dream witch I must be most cautious while in the dream dimension. She told me it was completely ridiculous and foolish of me to go around using my powers without knowing how to protect myself or how to properly conceal them when necessary.

She was very exasperated with herself for being unable to ignore my cries for help and just exasperated with the situation in general. She had been living in secret and getting by fine on her own, but by inviting me into her home she exposed herself to the danger that followed me and soon enough her home was under attack. (There were specific threats to witches in this reality of my dream). She was my reluctant savior and momentary mentor.

I realize I'm going against her warnings by talking about it, but I need to know more.

2. The other reason boils down to heavy superstition on my end. Usually when I try to talk about this stuff with people I notice I lose my abilities or some of my abilities for awhile. The feeling I get is that these powers are not to be bragged about or feel prideful about. That I must remain humble in order to receive them. Also I feel there's something about bringing my powers to the conscious mind of others/outsiders as possibly having some sort of draining effect? like my powers lie within the dream world to bring them to the physical world drains the magic of what should remain in dreams. Then again no one other than the Green witch has ever told me anything.


Thank you for your help! Many blessings to you, Norwich!
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@NorthernGirl and MikeTempe

Greetings to you both! I am running on a low battery right now, but I want to express my gratitude for your thoughtful responses. I will respond to them tomorrow when I have more energy. The affirmation and heart you gave me so freely is sincerely appreciated.

Blessed be!
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Hi again, dreamwitch.  Thanks for explaining so we can know where you're coming from. I've put in italics a few of your comments i feel I can respond to, followed by my thoughts.

I have had only one interaction with a truly power negative energy/entity… I never wanted to come across something like that again.
. I've met up with an astral nasty when OOB-dreaming - & I don't ever want to see them again either 🥴. I had rushed off to a friend's rescue & didn't have my spirit Guide with me. I woke in the morning with the same claw marks on my body that the nasty had inflicted on my astral self. (They healed fast). So I'd suggest that before falling asleep, even if you don't know your guide yet, that you request their presence on any OOB-dream travels.

I strongly believe when you open yourself up to receiving…You protect your own energy/spirit and only invite in the ones you want to work with…
. That's what I was taught as well. Once again I turn to my Guide to oversee the vetting process.

The protection I've been thinking about lately has been … getting amythst and black tourmaline for protection.
.  Those are both good choices. I've also found hematite is protective for the psychic self. Your mileage may vary, as they say.

I … did something I never do in dreams: I cried out for help. I went to knock on the front door, but before I could it suddenly sprang open and I was pulled inside by … a Green witch.
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Asking for help is the one sure way to get your higher self involved.
. Usually in dreams a house we enter symbolizes the self. In that light the Green witch who dwells there-in may very well be a part of your own psychic makeup -  the knowledgeable guiding self, ie., the higher self i mentioned before.

 She rushed me into her kitchen … She told me I was being careless in telling others about my powers or exposing them so openly (within that dream). She told me I am a dream witch and … I must be most cautious while in the dream dimension. (My emphasis)
. The H.S. does tend to lecture, in my experience 😖 & it has always paid to listen up, even when Ive argued with my HS or been in a snit.

She told me it was completely ridiculous and foolish of me to go around using my powers (insert: while in the dream dimension) without knowing how to protect myself or how to properly conceal them when necessary.
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So-o, one type of protection = concealing powers when necessary in the dream dimension. Think back how you might have done so in the poison dream. What could your dreaming self have done differently? That's a rhetorical question & you don't have to answer. If you realize it so will the dream-self & visa-versa.

She was my reluctant savior and momentary mentor… I realize I'm going against her warnings by talking about it, but I need to know more.
. Her cautions pertained to the dream-dimension so it's probably OK to discuss in the mundane realm for info purposes, don't ya' think? You're not showing off.

Usually when I try to talk about this stuff with people I notice I lose my abilities or some of my abilities for awhile.
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Have you ever noticed a feeling of letting go of tension after you've discussed a problem? IMO it's the same with psychim, and it's the  lessening of tension that dampens the spark of psychic powers. They're still there as sure as ever but the urgency that primes the spark-to-go isn't there. So we feel like the power is switched off when it's our emotion that's switched off. Emotions have a lot to do with channeling.

The feeling I get is that these powers are not to be bragged about or feel prideful about.
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Right-o 🤗, however we can feel a sense of accomplishment without preening our feathers.

I feel there's something about bringing my powers to the conscious mind of others/outsiders as possibly having some sort of draining effect?
.
Hmm. Maybe it's like the Witch's Pyramid - a witch's powers are to Know, to Will, to Dare, and to Be Silent, in which silence means to not discuss a spell with outsiders.

…like my powers lie within the dream world and to bring them to the physical world drains the magic of what should remain in dreams.
. And that's precisely why a witch doesn't idly chat about their spells or abilities 😉


I don't think I've said anything you didn't already know but it's reassuring to have our thoughts 2nd'd. I think comments here have been saying you're doing OK.
 

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Greetings Dream witch. I know I'm new here, however after reading about your experience, I'm compelled to say something. The psyche is a fascinating subject. In my opinion, your antagonist is your fear of uncertainty. And yes your mentor is your higher self. I say this due to your description of her and your pic, as well as her actions in your account. For empaths, I noticed the dream state is magnified than that of a "mundane?" person's would be. I used this terminology to those who don't believe in magick,etc… I can also speculate that your third eye is possibly opening up, and without proper meditation techniques, this can be an issue. Hopefully, I've helped in some way. One more thing, evaluate your emotions before going to sleep. If you can ground them before rest, it may give you a leg up on things.
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Hey dreamwitch, we're here to help each other  and you've made me happy too - it all goes around.
I can only reply based on my own experiences.


How can you tell you're having an OOB dream? Most of the time my dreams are from a first person perspective even when I'm in the dream as someone else.
. Review your dreams for frequently repeated action or images. You may already have a subconscious code of your own. Flying freely or traveling in an enclosed car is a common indication for me. I sometimes travel along lines or cords of light. The frequently traveled routes  have thicker cords and those seldom traveled might be mere energy threads.
. Over the years of working with dreams I've programmed recognition symbols into my dreams - I have one symbol for "pay attention" & another to confirm an OOBE. We can program by meditation & by suggestion before sleeping.
. Dreams of seeing yourself 3rd person are obvious tip-off's 😉; a dream is just another state of consciousness.
. I hope others will chime in with their experiences to give a broad spectrum.

Is there any way I can find my guide? Or will they reveal themselves in time?
. As you have an active dream life your guide may have revealed their presence many times since childhood. My guide appears in many guises to illustrate a point but always has the same eyes. Some of the costumes have been a hoot 🤣.
. Good ol' meditation has eleventy-seven uses. Set a weekly appointment - day & time - just for communicating with your guide for 30 minutes. Less isn't enough time to relax with it & longer is too tiring. Light a candle or do some other mini ritual of preparation. Talk out loud or in your head & don't mumble. Get familiar with their vibe. Ask for a recognition signal. When you get it, ask again to verify.  Humorously my guide trained me like Pavlov's dog - I'd hear a bell ring in one ear. Eventually I'd recognized the voice from 1000 dreams. Sometimes he's told me a knock-knock joke. Be patient. It comes when we're ready.
. Do NOT reveal your guide's name to anyone without that guide's expressed OK. If your guide gives you a name don't reveal that either. Names are energetic links.

How big of crystals does one need to get? Can you wear them on a necklace or is it better to have the actual stone?
. Whatever feels most comfortable. I have a 1-inch rutilated quartz pendant that has seen me thru many trials. Pendant or pocket, raw or tumbled doesn't matter. When I'm doing stone stroking I like something that fits in the palm of my hand & is smooth. Stones found along creeks or on the beach have the extra benefit of water's influence. If a Specific Stone attracts you or falls on you or you trip over it then that one has something for you.

Should I look for the signs of a deity responsible or trying to communicate or just focus on finding my guide for now?
.
That's your preference. I admit I'm partial to deity & contemplation for deep spirituality & inner fortitude and to my guide for daily matters, learning & bad jokes. I came into Wicca because my guide sent me into a bookstore I passed by & picked out the book.
. They pick their own times. The Goddess revealed Herself to me by knocking me OOB with a telluric jolt - the geomagnetic equivalent of a two-by-four - while I was walking my dog.

Blessings & joy,
Norwich
 

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Blessed Be and greetings
You are just coming into your time of a new Awakening
Yes change you physically spiritually and emotionally forever change you must go to like when the butterfly learns how to Fly.

You will never be alone and there will always be someone more powerful in this physical dimension as well as Crossing to the dream-state to help you and guide your path.
Some of us even yearn for the challenge and experience
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HHi. Some of what you said gave me tingles because I do that stuff too. Seems to me, your only problem is that you don't instinctively face your fears and take the next step. If a creature scares you, usually talking to it is all it takes to get fearmongers to leave.
    You shouldn't worry about losing access to your powers, you're the only one that can shut them off
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