Hello.

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Lost_Ironwood is in the usergroup ‘Radical activist’

An Introduction.

Hello, everyone. I'm not used to these kinds of sites….or conversing with people like this outside my usual circle. I apologize ahead of time if I come across a bit cold at times, but like I said, this is rather new territory for me.
My family has been "gifted" for quite a few generations, able to see, hear, and even do things that have caused us to be seen as the odd people in our residential areas. I myself am no exception, and I've come here for potential answers to the myriad of questions I've had about why I'm the way I am and how to control all this crazy built up in my life.

I suppose I should make a brief list of details.
I am 26 as of writing this, a male gemini. I was introduced to wicca in my pre-teen years and never looked back since.
My personal god is Anubis, though I have quite close ties to Vanagandr and his sons as well.

My favorite animals are of canid natures, including wolves, jackals, and coyotes. Though, I am quite fond of cats and foxes as well.

To get a better sense of what abilities I've had since birth….
I am an empath. I can feel and understand emotional states around me, and often times unintentionally copy them or take them into myself. I have been described on occasion as a "Heyoka", though I do not know the validity of this claim.
I was gifted the ability to see through the veil on occasion.  It's not a very strong sight, and often times flutters in and out of my eyesight on random moments, giving me only glimpses. This runs in my family. My mother hears them but cannot see, and I see and cannot hear them.
I know I have some sort of other ability, but have not been able to use it on command as of yet.  It seems to only occur when I am extremely upset (muscles tense, I feel some sort of energy buildup, and then release through the body. Often, I end up with mild burns across my forearms after this).   It's become rather self destructive, and I have no explanation for it, other than my physical strength tends to exceed normal expectations when this occurs, and I feel little to no pain temporarily. It's like adrenaline.


I understand there will likely be those claiming I am "roleplaying" and "mocking wicca", and I assure you that is as far from the truth as it can get.  I've been searching on my own for well over a decade to try and find the truth behind what's going on, always thinking I have to hide everything or get thrown in a looney bin. Once you see the other side, nothing's the same. You can't UNsee that kind of stuff.  Please, if there's anyone that's willing to give me the time of day, I could use advice and guidance to get some sort of clarity and control. I'm desperate.

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Norwich is in the usergroup ‘Witch’
Hi and welcome, ironwood. You’re among similar folk here. Empathy goes with the territory, assorted “clairs”, the sight, out-of-body & psychokinetic abilities… all normal here 🙂.

You might read up on parapsychology. Lots of normies have psychic abilities and see it as a normal human function, luck of the DNA gene pool.

Grounding your  energy is the most useful tip I can offer. When you feel the energy building at times when you don’t want it, send the energy down the spine; think of tree roots under your feet. Repeat as needed throughout the day. "Be ever mindful of your power" is a tip I was given as a newbie. Keep in mind you're not blocking the power, just redirecting it.

Centering - drawing power on the breath to the belly - puts the energy where you can manage it with your Willpower. Sometimes teeth gritting determination is needed, and resisting the desire to take the easy way and just let it go - Shazam!💥

There aren’t any short cuts to self control. Desire control more than relief.

I would expect you’ve already made acquaintance with your guide - if not, do so 😉

Welcome and feel free to make yerself at home

i had to look up heyoka on Wikipedia
Heyoka - the jesters in Hopi mythology.

representing a dream of a thunder being. c.1880
The heyoka (heyókȟa, also spelled "haokah," "heyokha") is a kind of sacred clown in the culture of the Sioux (Lakota and Dakota people) of the Great Plains of North America. The heyoka is a contrarian, jester, and satirist, who speaks, moves and reacts in an opposite fashion to the people around them. Only those having visions of the thunder beings of the west, the Wakíŋyaŋ, and who are recognized as such by the community, can take on the ceremonial role of the heyoka.

The Lakota medicine man, Black Elk, described himself as a heyoka, saying he had been visited as a child by the thunder beings.(Thunderbirds).

 

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Kensai Journeyman is in the usergroup ‘Witch’
Greetings Ironwood, and Norwich is absolutely right. Rest assured you're not alone on this, as I've done and experienced the same as you have. Meditation and focus on controlling your emotions should be the first step as well as what Norwich prescribed. In time, with practice this becomes easier, then it becomes as normal as breathing. Blessed be.
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Lost_Ironwood is in the usergroup ‘Radical activist’
I didn't expect such a warm and helpful welcome….  Thank you!

I didn't realize that power tended to work with the spine. Is that because of the brain and nervous system? I did read somewhere about "brain crystals" that are located where the spinal column connects at the top, and that you can gain clarity through deep breathing and focusing energy up there.  

Control, rather than relief… that makes sense, logically. I suppose all I really want is the anxiety it gives me to be lessened, so whichever works I'm more than willing to try.
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